6 Ways To Heal Your Marriage After Addiction

And many of those individuals have partners or spouses. It’s well-known that substance use disorder (SUD) can negatively affect relationships. But what many people don’t realize is that even after sobriety, addiction can continue to have a negative impact.

For almost a year and a half, we experienced a new kind of rollercoaster until he found the proper medication and acceptance of its place as part of his treatment. Once marriage after sobriety he felt comfortable again, his smile and warmth returned along with a new playfulness. I discovered that those traits were his innate qualities and not alcohol-induced.

R.I.P. Louis Gossett Jr.: First Black Actor To Win Oscar For Best Supporting Role Dead At 87

It might be time to leave your partner if their behavior jeopardizes your safety, well-being, and personal growth. Becoming sober isn’t just about abstaining from alcohol. It’s a subversive, hardcore choice to take your life into your own hands. It’s an opportunity to grow into your bones, and every single crap thing that happens to you on the way only makes you stronger.

The survival of the marriage will depend on whether both of them are reading from the same page and are willing to make amends and offer support whenever possible. The decision to pursue sobriety is major and life-changing, both for the addict and for the spouse. It can take a toll physically, as the person in recovery is going through withdrawal symptoms that can be very intense. It may be impossible for a spouse to care for a partner who is experiencing nausea and vomiting, fatigue, lethargy, lack of appetite, and excessive sweating and bodily shaking.

Suggest Sober Activities

While you may look back fondly at the pre-addiction days of your marriage, it’s now time to do things differently. Living with someone who has substance use disorder can be difficult, and also create changes in your relationship. Although recovery is positive for the whole family, it may not be as idyllic as you hope. A therapist can help you learn more about the role you may have played in a codependent relationship and learn healthier patterns. If the person with SUD suddenly isn’t dependent upon their partner to take care of them, this can cause a disruption in the relationship as well. The supportive partner may want to be needed, and feel unhappy, lost, or confused with the new relationship dynamic.

Had I not gotten sober, we likely would’ve gone that way as well. Here I was busting my ass every day working an impossible job while he stayed home, and he was out there living his best life, making friends while I got fat and miserable on the balcony. He didn’t have a job and was struggling to find one because the country where we live is a bit tricky for job-seeking male spouses.

MORE IN LIFE

Go on dates, be completely honest with one another, and try to treat the marriage as a new relationship. Understand that rebuilding your marriage will be a long and challenging process, and keep your expectations reasonable. After addiction, broken trust is likely to be the biggest obstacle to overcome in your marriage. For the recovering addict, this means absolute honesty is essential.

Codependency can also cause the non-addicted partner to unwittingly enable unhealthy behaviors, which may encourage substance use and addiction. The recovering addict needs to focus on sobriety and may not always be able to prioritize the relationship, and his or her spouse must understand this. Of course, the addict’s ability to maintain sobriety will be essential to your ability to maintain the marriage as well. Depending on how long the habit has persisted, some patterns have already become entrenched. New or inverted roles have been formed due to one partner abandoning some functions and the other adopting those roles.